Happy Birthday Quimby

This is my dog, Quimby, when he was a puppy.  Is there anything cuter than a yellow lab puppy?  It was his birthday yesterday – he turned 10.  It’s hard for me to believe he’s 10 already, but then I think back to how different my life was when I got him and it does seem like a long time ago.  He and I have been through a lot together so the least I could do is celebrate his birthday properly.  He gets a Happy Meal each year on his birthday, but this year he got a Quarter Pounder with Cheese instead of just the plain Cheeseburger because this one is special.  And so, this is why I put his picture out there for all to see.  

 

Happy birthday to Ivanhoe’s Diamond Joe Quimby.  You’re a good dog.  (Well, most of the time anyway.)

I’m Famous! (Well, Me and 170 Others…)

Nacho Underpants was listed in this month’s Chicago Magazine as one of 171 Best Chicago Websites!  Actually, the funny thing is that I had picked this issue up at the grocery store the other day, but hadn’t gotten around to reading it yet.  I had no idea I was in it – a phone call from a friend alerted me to my little listing on page 65.  

Okay… yes, I  am listed under a section called “Time Less Well Spent” and also called cynical, snarky and sarcastic – but, hell – it describes me perfectly.

 

Thanks to Chicago Magazine!  I’m off to buy a chihuahua, a Bentley, giant sunglasses and give Sam Lufti a call.

 

 

Beware of the Bose

 

I got a pair of Bose Quiet Comfort 3® Headphones about a year or so ago.  I was intrigued by the travel aspect of the headphones – noise canceling seems like a great idea when you travel a lot and have to listen to obnoxious dickwads blab on their cell phone for twenty minutes before the flight and start up again the second the plane lands.  (God help us if they ever allow cell phone use during the flight. Anyone who rides a commuter train with any regularity knows why…)

 

 Anyway, the headphones work great.  They don’t knock out all the noise completely, but they do deafen it quite a bit, which makes things tolerable at least.  Plus, add in an iPod and you are golden.  The problem comes in when you realize that you can’t hear yourself with any degree of certainty regarding the decibel level of your voice.  Couple this with someone who may have a bit of a potty mouth, and suddenly you have quite a problem on your hands.

 

Case in point:  I’m on a 6am flight to somewhere with my husband, which for me is wrong on a few levels.  I am not at all a morning person, and getting my ass on a plane by 6 means I had to get up at like 3, which totally sucks.  Also, I am not a good flyer – planes scare the hell out of me. Usually I try and self-medicate before a flight with a few Rum & Diets to kind of take the edge off.  Unfortunately, this is not something you can really do on a 6am flight unless your coming out of New Orleans or Vegas or something.  So, not only am I completely crabby because it’s too fucking early, but I’m stone cold sober and more than a little nervous.   Hey… wait a minute!  I’ve got the Bose Comfort 3® Headphones!  I put them on and try and go to a happy place with music.  It’s working – I’m getting relaxed and even kind of dozing off a little bit.

 

Then it happens.

 

My husband dumps a hot cup of coffee all over my lap while I am sleeping.  He claims later it was an accident because we hit some turbulence and he knocked it over with his sleeve or something – but somehow he manages to spill the entire thing on to me without getting any on him and I am soaked.  I jump out of my seat wild-eyed and scream “WHAT THE FUCK?!!”   Then I notice pretty much every other person in the plane turn and stare at me.  Oh, did I mention it was spring break, so most of the plane were little kids going to Florida with their parents?  

 

My husband later told me that I was as loud as I could possibly be.  I blame it on the headphones.  That, and the fact that I now had a completely soaked ass full of coffee for the rest of the flight. (This happened about 20 minutes in to a 3-hour flight.)  And I had jeans on so they never dried.  And my seat was soaked as well.   And my husband wouldn’t say he was sorry.*

 

So, although I can highly recommend the Bose Quiet Comfort 3® Headphones I think they should have to add this disclaimer:  

CAUTION:  You May Be Louder Than You Think You Are When Screaming Obscenities.

 

* According to my husband, he did mention that he was sorry but supposedly I didn’t hear it  - again due to the headphones.  This is still a small point of contention, but I thought I would mention it in the vein of journalistic fairness

Vintage Cookbook Centerfold of the Week

Behold the Elegant Clown Hat of Lobster Salad Heligoland – Courtesy of the Gourmet Old Vienna Cookbook, 1956.  

 

This odd recipe is lobster, potatoes, artichokes, dill pickles, mayonnaise, ketchup, crawfish, truffles and tarragon.  How’s that for some random ingredients?  It sounds like they scooped out the contents of my garbage disposal and made a salad out if it.  And what’s with the stupid cucumber cupcakes?  

 

That champagne looks good though.  Liquid lunch for one, please!

Sleeveface: Harder than it Looks!

In my ramblings about old album covers, I came across a new fun pastime called “Sleeveface.”  It’s where you take old album covers and match them up to your body to make a cool composite picture.  After looking at  a few on the Flickr Sleeveface Group, I’m betting that this is much harder than it looks.  Some of them really are amazing and artistic.  Some of them suck.  But, the best part is seeing all the old album covers.  (Of course, the Morrissey one is my favorite so far.)

 

Check it out. 

Ultimate Fight: Bacon vs. Tofu

I laughed my ass off when I saw these cute Mr. Bacon and Monsieur Tofu figurines at Archie McPhee.  It’s the ultimate fight!   The copy says that only one can be at the top of the food chain.  Who will win?  

 

Not that I have anything against Monsieur Tofu, but it’s hard to beat any sort of nitrate pork product, especially bacon.

Search Term of the Day

Someone ended up here by typing in:  ”My husband called me a fucking idiot”

Interesting! 

My Album Collection: Fonzie’s Favorites 1976

This fine album was one of the first albums I ever bought myself with my allowance.  Yes, it’s a Fonz record.  Not only that, it’s a Fonz record with special appearances by Laverne & Shirley and the Sweathogs. Cool, huh?   I certainly thought so when I bought it in the Bargain Bin at Woolco.

 

Yes, I used to like the Fonz.  Why, I have no idea.  I look at that horrible show now and I don’t even know why I watched it.  It was a big deal in 1976 – I guess that’s what happens when you only have four channels.  Anyway, I liked the Fonz so much that I stole for him.  I went to Skagg’s with a friend and I shoplifted a Fonzie pin that looked kind of like the one he has on in the album cover that said “SIT ON IT” and had a picture of the Fonz with his trademark “Aaaaaay” thumbs-up stance.  My parents wouldn’t let me wear it because they thought that SIT ON IT was a rude thing to say.  Ahhhh.. the innocent 70s.  So, basically, I stole it and couldn’t even wear it.  There’s a lesson in there somewhere, I think.

 

 I was so excited when I had saved up enough money to buy this record!  Then, I got it home.  It was kind of a rip – it only had two songs about the Fonz (Fonzarelli Slide and The Fonz Song) and the rest was old recycled 50s music.  Oh, and a final track of an “impressionist” saying all the cool Fonz sayings so you could learn how to say them, too.  Like I couldn’t say SIT ON IT or AAAAY without the “impressionist” teaching me.  The Fonzarelli Slide had some ridiculous gimmick in which both the Sweathogs and Laverne & Shirley somehow are involved and sing about the Fonz.  It didn’t make sense on a lot of levels, but I was 9, what did I know?

 

The coolest thing, though, was that the back of the album cover had a fold out tab that allowed you to stand this up as a picture, which I am sad to admit, I did.  Proudly.

 

Oh, SIT ON IT! 

 

 

Vintage Cookbook Centerfold of the Week

Braised Sweetbreads Parisian – courtesy of the Gourmet Cookbook, Vol. 1, 1965.

Superbowl Munchies: Party Rye Toasts

 

These are always a favorite, especially for a football game.  They’re an oldie, but a goodie.  And the best part is, you can easily double or triple the recipe days in advance and just keep it in the fridge and make the toasts as you need them.  What could be easier?

PARTY RYE TOASTS:

1 Package of Cocktail Rye Bread
  1 C. Grated Sharp Cheddar Cheese
2 TBS. Mayonnaise
1/2 C. Finely Chopped Black Olives
2 TBS. Finely Chopped Scallion

Mix cheese, olives, scallion and mayo in a medium bowl until just at spreading consistency. Spread on rye bread and bake in a 350 degree oven until cheese melts.  Then, broil until cheese is brown and bubbly.  Serve hot or at room temperature.