Sorry in Advance to all my “Mommy” Friends Out There

I know I am going to perhaps insult some of you out there since almost all my good friends are mommies these days, but I just have to say it: IT IS NOT CUTE WHEN YOUR CHILD ANSWERS THE PHONE.

We have things to do, we are busy. When we call we want to talk to you. I love your kids, they are awsome, brilliant, entertaining beings, but I don’t want to have a conversation with them on the phone. First of all, they don’t know who I am. I am not family and I do not see them often, so it’s not like talking to Grandma or Aunt Lulu who lives down the street. Second, most of the offenders in this category have children that can barely talk let alone carry on any sort of coherent conversation. These annoying “Hi is your mommy there?” moments should not last more than 10 seconds for me, let alone 3 minutes. Third, even if they do talk, I can’ t understand them, so the point is futile. I don’t spend 24/7 with them and understand their foreign language, so even if you do understand what they are talking about, I don’t.

Also, while we are on the subject:

– Please take your two year old off the voice mail message.

– Your newborn should not be in the voice mail options – she is not getting messages at 6 months old (“You’ve reached Janie, Robert and BeeBoo, please leave a message…”)

– Please stop sending me thank you cards that you wrote while pretending to be your child. Your child is not writing his own thank you notes at 2 1/2 and he did not pick out that stationary with his name on it.

Again, sorry if I offended any of you. I still love you all, and (most of) your children!

8 thoughts on “Sorry in Advance to all my “Mommy” Friends Out There

  1. I *have* kids and I find that annoying. I don’t let my kids answer the phone unless my parents are calling. I got stuck on the phone with my friend’s 2 year old the other day. Hated it.

  2. Isn’t the fact that someone sent you a thank you to let you know your gift was appreciated enough?????? And by the way, some of us happen to be really busy changing poopy diapers and keeping children from climbing on furniture that yes sometimes the 4 year old answers the phone because they can’t get to it!!!!!!

    Grain o salt

  3. Sounds like I maybe insulted someone. (The four exclamation points and six question marks tipped me off…) I said I was sorry! Hey, the thank you card is great, send it from the parents if he/she is 1. I wasn’t even talking about you anyway!

    grain O sugar

  4. OK – So I was in a bad mood (probably because I had just changed a poopy diaper and the phone was ringing. You know I love ya and regretted it the minute I pressed send. What’s that old adage……….type first, send later. Anyway…….sorry on my end. Maybe you can send me to personnel.

  5. With that mean old Anne as Personnel Leader? Ha!

    If it makes you feel any better, I’ve been cleaning up shit for a week. Quimby ate something and has had raging diahhrea on and off. He is a guilty lab, however, so he tries to “hide” his little accidents all over the house. Each day is like a treasure hunt… with the prize being… shit! (I should get him some diapers – at least that way I don’t have to keep scrubbing it out of the carpet.)

    Love ya

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