Things My Dog Has Eaten

I have an 8 year old yellow Lab, Quimby. Overall, he is a good dog, but as anyone with a lab will tell you, he’s fixated on filling up his stomach with anything (and I mean anything) available to him. He seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Mind you, I never catch him in the act – I only see the evidence later. Here is a partial list of things he has eaten in the past few months or so…

Two packages of hot dog buns (all at once!)
Rotten apples from the yard
Tomatoes off the vine
Cat food cans (he chews them like gum and then spits them out)
Hot rolls from the oven (3 out of 4)
Pack of cigarettes (!)
Package of coffee cake
Rotten banannas (too rotten for bananna bread)
Raw lamb chop
Charcoal briquette
Tin foil (had a pork roast in it at one time)
Large french baguette
Box of Frango Mints (wrapped for a present)
Chex Mix
Miscellaneous garbage
Pizza box
Cat litter
Half a pizza during a child’s pizza party
Multiple packages of Vitamin B12 Powder
Bird seed
Half a quiche
Stawberry tops
Grape stems
Celery (?)
Protein powder
One LB of wasabi peas
2 pies (including tins)
Lighter (!)
Multiple bags of chips
Entire box of bisquick (that one actually made him sick)
Entire tray of Grandma’s special Christmas cookies
Italian takeout
Box of English toffee
Few slices of deep dish pizza (we do live in Chicago, you know)
Bag of chocolate chip cookies
Grease drips as they come out the smoker
23 rolls after our Halloween party (NEW 10/28)
Entire loaf of homemade banana bread ( NEW 2/28)
Two packages of Rice Cakes (NEW 4/5)
Pizza Box, only circle where pizza was (NEW 6/2)
Rotten vegetables and corn husks (This one made him sick) (NEW 10/12)
Vegetable crepe from takeout box (NEW 5/6)
Large Box of Malted Milk Balls (NEW 8/7)

I will add to this list as he adds to his shame. Good thing he has a goat stomach – he hardly ever gets sick.

4 thoughts on “Things My Dog Has Eaten

  1. It’s the male yellow lab gene. There is something wrong with them. I’ve been doing an informal survery of people who own male yellows for about 10 years. Never met anyone yet who says they have a smart, well behaved yellow male. I have a make yellow lab. He’s clinically insane. No joke, he takes prozac. And sometimes I have to sedate him with Benedryl too. My parents had his grandfather. Also a male yellow. He would eat anything too. Can’t count how many time he got the dinner off the table or counter. Seriously. Mine eats rocks. There’s somethign wrong with these dogs. 😉

  2. I agree! Don’t get me wrong – I love him to death, but for being so incredibly stupid, he is no less than brilliant at being able to find, steal, grab, or obtain any sort of edible item. He also doesn’t listen to anything, but knows about 30 food-related words perfectly.

  3. I’ve heard that there’s no smell that is too foul, too funky, too putrid for a dog to enjoy. In fact, quite the opposite….my dog Benster (rest his honored soul) would cross the street if he thought there was something dead and festering that he could roll around in. Sort of a guilty pleasure in the dog world I guess.
    Anyway, I could get back to the topic of things my dog has eaten, but this seems to be a PG-13 rated blog, so I won’t burden you tender readers with my list.

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