I Have a Big Mouth

Okay, so as usual, I manage to open my foot very wide and insert foot. I can’t tell you how many times I have blurted something out that I shouldn’t have, either because I thought someone would find something funny that they didn’t, or because I wasn’t paying attention to my audience. So, I did it again.

I am riding home from Christmas morning at the in-laws and mentioned a particularly funny gift that I saw that I was 100% certain was given by a particular individual in my family to another particular individual in my family. So, I not only mention it, but manage to laugh about it for a minute or so until I realize to my horror the dead silence coming from the back seat. Yes, the certain individual that gave the gift in question was not who I thought it was, but rather the individual sitting directly behind me. Dead silence.

Now what do I do? There really is no way to recover from this rather large faux pas. In my instant panic I decide to ask the question head-on if this individual actually did give the gift I saw. Yes, they did. I tried in vain to maybe hope that the gift I described was maybe a similar one, and not the one they gave, so I asked a few questions about the description. Yup, that matches 100%. Oops. So, I did what I could and said I was sorry about 100 times.

I am an ass. And, I am sorry. I hope this person can forgive me and they owe me one free insult on the house. Isn’t the New Year a good time for forgiveness anyway?

Hey, Guys: Meet the Hamper!

Have we met somewhere before?
I had to write this today after picking up my 11 billionth sock off the floor next to the hamper and putting it in to the hamper. Seriously, what is so hard about putting stuff IN THE DAMNED HAMPER? (Insert Jerry Seinfeld Voice Here:) “You’ve already done the hard work – taking off the item of clothing, in this case a sock. You are already near the hamper. Why not just go that extra step and put it in the hamper?”

Okay, enough with the hamper, but this does bring up a good question about guys and gals. My husband and I had a small “discussion” the other day about the jobs around the house. It all started with me asking him if he was going to put the covers on the outdoor furniture this year, since last year he never did get around to it. You would have thought I had asked him if he was going to get on that penis enlargement program this year. He said yes, and he’d be happy to teach me how to do it, too. I replied that this was a “man job.” He got all crabby and said all the shit jobs are man jobs. But what is the definition of a “shit” job? Is it indoor vs. outdoor? Heavy vs. light? Kitchen vs. toilet? In my mind, it’s just a natural divide – women take care of most things in the house, men take care of most things outside the house. I do the laundry 90% of the time with no complaints. I make the bed 95% of the time with no complaints. I put the God damn socks in the hamper 99.9999999% of the time with no… well, some complaints, I guess. But, the point is, isn’t everyone’s definition of a “shit” job really relative?

He put the covers on the furniture over the weekend.

I Love You All…

I don’t know if it’s because it’s that time of year, but recently I have been thinking about how lucky I am. I love my husband so much, I love his family – they have all been so wonderful accepting me into their life, including my wonderful step-kids. I love my friends – many of whom I have known for over 20 years now (yikes!). I never had a very close or loving family on my side – so the fact that my husband’s family and my good friends have been more than a good subsitute is the kind of luck I have. Thank you, – I love you all.

Christmas Eve Menu

We always do Christmas Eve at our house for my husband’s family – I’ve only been in the family for about five years, but somehow it’s become a tradition – which I like because I do like to cook.  Plus Christmas Eve always seems so elegant to me – more so than Christmas itself.  The presents are still under the tree, piled high and looking beautiful.  It’s usually cold so you have to have a good fire going (Thanks to global warming, it’s 55 degrees here in Chicago this week – so this part may not be so storybook this year…)  I am only doing dinner for 10 this year, (usually it’s around 20) but it will sure be good. Here is my planned menu:

Assorted Appetizers and Cocktails

Prime Rib with Cabernet Jus
Gratin Dauphinois
Tri-color Salad
Garlicky Broccoli Rabe
Cloverleaf Rolls

Red Velvet Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting

Yum!

Now, I have never made Prime Rib before, so I am a little nervous.  The good news is that everyone says it’s fairly easy compared to other beef recipes.  It seems everyone who writes about prime rib has a “secret” – brown it at 450 for 30 minutes then turn the oven off, etc.  I have done my research, so hopefully it will work out!  I do have some finicky teenagers (niece and nephew) who will probably just eat the potaotes and rolls, but I am not one to make them a “special” dish just because they are “at that age.”  That’s just bullshit.  I know I sound like a mother, but damn it – you either eat what I serve, or you don’t.  Some people in my family make them something extra, like Spaghetti-Os or whatever, but, I ain’t doin’ that.  Sorry.

I am also excited to try the Red Velvet Cake – have never made that before, either, but it looks so beautiful and very Christmas-y.  I am going to make my own beef broth for the base of the Cabernet Jus – something else I haven’t done before.  Yup – sure nothing will go wrong.  Right?

Happy Holidays!

Cirque de Soleil “LOVE”

I was in Vegas a few months ago and was lucky enough to see the new Cirque de Soleil show at the Mirage – LOVE. It is a Cirque de Soleil show set to Beatles music reflecting on the music itself, not the Beatles themselves. It’s amazing how they pulled it off. I’m not much of a “show” person, I find them rather chee-zee most of the time, but this was a big exception to the rule. They managed to capture the Beatles personalities, the music and the times, all without using actors or anyone representing the Beatles themselves.

The music was incredible and the show itself was undescribable. It was beautiful and actually made me cry. I love the Beatles and the new remixes of the old music really makes you realize how brilliant the music was in the first place. George Harrison got this project rolling before he passed away – unfortunately he never got to see the finished product, but you can definitely feel his influence. The way they portray his songs in particular is beyond words.

The production company spent $100 million overhauling the old Sigfried & Roy theater and it’s amazing. Each seat has stereo speakers, roll out so you can get up and out easily, and are as comfortable as a La-Z-Boy. (They also all have giant cup holders to allow you you put your rather large Rum & Diet in the seat! Thank you LOVE!) Also, the stage rotates and has dozens of moving screen “walls” that come out of the ceiling, constantly changing the setup of the stage and what you are seeing.

I highly recommend this fabulous show the next time you’re in Las Vegas. You won’t regret it, even if you don’t consider yourself a Beatles fan. Tip: Don’t buy the most expensive seats – there is so much going on at any time, much of it up in the air or above the seats. We sat on the second level and thought it was the perfect place to see everything, and it was about $50 cheaper!

All you need is LOVE!

Here is the link to the official LOVE site: Click Here

Microsoft IE7 Sucks

I hate Microsoft. I always have – they really are just annoying bullies, and not very innovative ones at that. Many years ago I fell in love with a really great PC-based graphics program (this way way bofore Photoshop was a ubiquitous as it is today.) that really was incredibly advanced for it’s day (1992 or so). It was called Altamira Composer. Microsoft acquired them in 1994, and basically ruined the product. Why? Good question. Microsoft has never understood the importance of graphics – those Mac/PC commercials are pretty spot on. (Anyone remember 16-color monitors?) Anyway, I never forgave them for that, and it seems that again, the bully is being the stupid bully it is.

My husband made the mistake of downloading the new IE7 (only because his good old Windoze XP kept sending messages to do so.) So, now the whole browser is broken. It doesn’t see the LAN, and if I try to go in and reconnect the LAN in Internet Options, it hangs. If I try and run a diagnostic, it hangs. If I try to go to Help, it hangs. What a piece of crap. I’ll eventually be able to fix it because I am pretty computer saavy – but what about the poor sap out there that knows nothing about computers and needs XP to hand hold them all the time? (This is the same XP that tries and “hide” the C:\ drive files from you….oooo files! Scary!) This poor person would now have no way to connect to internet and therefore no way to get help with the problem. Thanks, Microsoft – you suck.

Another reason I have a Mac.