WTF? Who Staged this Light Bulb Package Photo?

Yes, I’m bored today.

I was changing many light bulbs yesterday (I prefer the method of letting them all burn out until we are in almost total darkness, and then changing them all at once, BTW) and noticed for some reason this odd photo on the package of Philips Longer Life Soft White 60W bulbs I got at Costco. Do you notice something strange about this photo, besides the fact that it looks like some cheap motel on Exit 38 in Northern Florida?

The package

How about now? WTF is going on in that mirror? Who staged this? Who approved it? Who printed it? Why do I care………………………………………..?

WTF?

………………………….Did I mention I was bored today?

The Decision of NBC News – A Thought

I haven’t blogged for a few days because it felt a little wrong to talk about my usual ridiculous subjects when all the terrible things were happening in Virginia. But, I had to write today after NBC aired the footage last night of Cho Crazy-Ass and the subsequent beating they have taken today for doing so.

I was a Journalism major in school, so this subject is very interesting to me. NBC News is really between a rock and a hard place – they seem that they would be damned if they do and damned if they don’t. But, they shouldn’t be.

Let me explain: Much of the blame for this travesty must rest squarely on the shoulders of the individuals who decided that the News Department of any broadcast organization is on the same footing as the Entertainment Department. Meaning that they are just as responsible to the corporate heads to turn a profit as any other department in the organization. This single decision, made in the mid 80s by a few greedy Reagan-Era assholes, changed forever the role of the news organization – and in the aftermath has toppled the delicate “fourth estate” that ensured a somewhat fair and balanced reporting stucture.

Cho knew how the 21st century 24/7 Media work. This is why, even in his obvious madness, he still managed to carefully plan and execute the perfect media kit. Pretty savvy for a 22 year old kid. Unfortunately, but yet predictably, NBC fell right into the trap – it was too easy not to. No amount of talking about how they did not want to exploit the material matters; they did. Period.

Why?

Because ratings equals revenue – they need to compete with not only other news outlets, but within thier own conglomeratized organization. This is the same reason we had three straight days of so-called news coverage on Anna Nicole Smith, NBCs ridiculous To Catch a Predator, and why Britney Spears makes front page “news.” It’s sickening.

There is no way that journalism can be true to the Fourth Estate if it is saddled with the extra burden of making money. The two are completely mutually exclusive and no one seems to understand the things we’ve lost since this idea was decimated. We will only have more of these horrible incidents in the future unless we realize this sooner rather than later.

Ferris Bueller – My Favorite Scene

I love the 80s. This scene from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is special for a couple of reasons. The music in this scene was written by The Smiths, Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want (Gotta Love Morrissey with his song titles.) And, since I live in Chicago, I love the Art Institute. And, like all things I seem to love, Family Guy spoofed it. Seth MacFarlane must be the same age as me.

Girlfriend in a Coma – Morrissey

No, I never got over Morrissey or the Smiths. They are still my favorite band, next to the Beatles, of course. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am still 20 in my mind. This is one of my favorite Smith’s Songs. It’s from 1987. Morrissey is looking pretty cute here, my friends.

Morrissey is coming back to Chicgao in May – I’ve already got my tickets!

Imus and His Big Stupid Mouth

Am I the only one that thinks the media went a little overboard with the hysteria regarding the Don Imus debacle? Yes, he is an imbicile and what he said was not only stupid, but the choice of words were about as clever as the local bully on the playground. But, how did this become a political issue? Why do I have to listen to what Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson have to say about it and what they feel is a suitable punishment? When did we all become so afraid of stupid words?

Part of it obviously comes from the 24/7 news cycle on some particularly slow news days (Hey guys – remember all the people dying in Iraq?) and the fact that they can play the audiotape over and over and over again. So, one stupid thing one says gets amplified x 1000. But, it goes deeper than that. Somehow, our culture has become overly-sensitive to “offensive” words. But it always seems to be so hyporcritical. Wasn’t is Jesse Jackson who got in to some hot water with his “Hymie Town” comment? Don’t rappers use those same words every day in their videos and songs? Would someone get fired over calling Cletus in Mississippi “white trash?”

Do I like Don Imus? No. Do I agree with what he said? Of course not. Do I think he should have been fired? Probably – but what is so silly is the wishy-washy way he was fired. First, CBS suspends him, then the hysteria begins and finally, after four days, they decide to fire him. And you know the only reason they fired him was not because he violated the high moral standards of CBS – it was because his sponsors pulled out.

If we’re going to get hysterical about something, lets make it something a little more substantive – such as the mess in Iraq, the destruction of our planet, or the fact that Sanjaya is still on American Idol, OK?

“Lumberjack” Macaroni

This is one of my all-time favorite vintage recipes that I have never made. It always intrigues me – not only because of how incredibly unhealthy it is – but because in many Better Crocker Picture Cookbook editions (the undisputed Queen of the old cookbooks in my opinion) include this recipe with the following ditty:

“Mr James Ford Bell, founder of General Mills, world-traveler and epicure, made this dish himself in our test kitchen!”

Now, maybe I sound like a food snob here, but I hardly would drag this recipe out of my repertoire if I was a self-proclaimed “world traveler” and “epicure.” But then again, this is from 1961. I’m sorry there is no picture for this one. I promise to make it one day and take a photo just so we can all see what it looks like. I have to admit, it sounds kind of good!

LUMBERJACK MACARONI

Hot Boiled Macaroni (8 oz uncooked)
2 Cups Grated Cheddar Cheese
5 Tbsp. Worcestershire Sauce
1/4 C. Chili Sauce
Salt and Pepper
3/4 C. Piping Hot Melted Butter

Spread Macaroni out on large hot platter. Sprinkle with cheese, Worcestershire sauce, chili sauce, salt and pepper. Pour hot meleted butter over all. Mix with two forks until sauce is creamy. Serve at once on hot plates. Serves 6.

I am so glad that they didn’t care about Nutritional Information back then – I can’t even imagine the fat and calories in this dish. Also, when did we stop calling it “macaroni” and start calling it “pasta?” I like macaroni better.

If someone makes this, please let me know how it is!

Happy Birthday David Letterman!

happy birthday!

My man Dave turns the big 6-0 today! One of my friends is due to give birth like any minute, so I told her to get it done today. I mean, really – what is cooler than sharing your birthday with Dave? Yeah, well she didn’t really seem that excited by it, either. But, she’s crabby cause she’s sick of being pregnant.

Happy Birthday, Dave! At least I didn’t send you a card this year like I used to when I was 14.

WTF? It’s @#!*@# Snowing!

WTF? It’s like a blizzard outside. It’s the middle of April, people. And don’t give me your stupid “Ha ha – that means no global warming” bullshit. Global warming doesn’t mean that it gets warmer in your hometown – it means that by the overall earth temperature rising, it fucks up all the weather, meaning everything from melting ice caps to big snow in April. Read an article that’s not in the American Spectator once in awhile.

An Open Letter to My Dog

Getting ready to bark...

Dear Quimby,

I know you’re older now… they told me at the vet that you are officially considered a senior citizen! But, I think in your small Lab brain, this makes you think that you can do whatever the hell you want. Remember the rules? You were such a total bad puppy, then one day you woke up and for awhile you’ve been the perfect dog. (Well, maybe not perfect, but certainly better than your puppy days.) You know I love you, but frankly, you’re slipping. Maybe it’s time for a refresher:

1. No sitting on the couch. But why is it when I come home each day it is covered in yellow dog hair?
2. No stealing food off the counter. Why when I leave the room for a second, things are missing from the counter never to be seen again?
3. No barking! Geez – will you SHUT UP? That damn school bus drives by every day! So do trucks, airplanes, mail delivery, UPS and FedEx. You are driving me crazy.
4. No stealing food out of the pantry. I can’t believe you ate that entire package of maple rice cakes. They weren’t that good.
5. No getting in the garbage. You are a suburban full bred yellow lab. You are not “Tramp” living in the alley behind The Vic. You don’t need to get into the garbage and eat rotten bananas.

This isn’t too much to ask, is it? Let’s work together so your golden years can be the best they can be and so I don’t kill you before your time.

Now, how ’bout a Greenie???

Love, Me