I know you’re older now… they told me at the vet that you are officially considered a senior citizen! But, I think in your small Lab brain, this makes you think that you can do whatever the hell you want. Remember the rules? You were such a total bad puppy, then one day you woke up and for awhile you’ve been the perfect dog. (Well, maybe not perfect, but certainly better than your puppy days.) You know I love you, but frankly, you’re slipping. Maybe it’s time for a refresher:
1. No sitting on the couch. But why is it when I come home each day it is covered in yellow dog hair?
2. No stealing food off the counter. Why when I leave the room for a second, things are missing from the counter never to be seen again?
3. No barking! Geez – will you SHUT UP? That damn school bus drives by every day! So do trucks, airplanes, mail delivery, UPS and FedEx. You are driving me crazy.
4. No stealing food out of the pantry. I can’t believe you ate that entire package of maple rice cakes. They weren’t that good.
5. No getting in the garbage. You are a suburban full bred yellow lab. You are not “Tramp” living in the alley behind The Vic. You don’t need to get into the garbage and eat rotten bananas.
This isn’t too much to ask, is it? Let’s work together so your golden years can be the best they can be and so I don’t kill you before your time.
Now, how ’bout a Greenie???