WTF? Now I Gotta Worry About Knee Wrinkles!?

fuck you oil of olay

Okay, I saw this ad in a cooking magazine the other day. WTF? So now I have to worry that my elbows and knees have “crow’s feet?” Who the hell is thinking about that? Seriously, isn’t it enough that I’m not thin enough, not muscular enough, that my hair is brassy or turning grey, I might have varicose veins or fucking cellulite, or that I’m getting wrinkles and age spots on my face?

I hate these guys. These are the type of marketers that make 12 year olds go on diets. I can just see the marketing genius: “Why are we just focusing on the face? We’re only utilizing 15% of the body! Let’s sell greasy lotion for the other 85%! We’ll be RICH!” What’s next – anti-aging cream the back of my neck? Earlobes? Between my toes? What about my va-jay-jay????

Here’s what I have to say: Fuck you Olay! (Oh, I’m sorry – when did you change your name from Oil of Olay? Probably about that same time you figured that name reminds us of our grandmas or pimple-ridden teenagers.)

Whatever your name is – you guys suck.

Yes, This Drive’s Me Out Of My Mind

What is it with the Apostrophe and no one knowing how to use it? I see abuse all day long – from other blogs and message boards to professional signs, menus and company names. The Apostrophe S (‘s) shows possesion or contraction, people, not multiples.

These are correct usage examples of the apostrophe:

  • Sally’s tits.
  • Billy’s balls.
  • Paris Hilton’s jail cell.

These are not:

  • Hot Dog’s.
  • Martini’s.
  • Sally’s tit’s.

If I see one more time on my local menu that they are serving “Cheese Blintz’s” I may have to kill somebody.

It drive’s me nut’s.

Anyway, I found a website today where someone else hates the Apostrophe Abuse as much as I do.
———–>Check it out here.

Morrissey Concert Tonight

viva la moz

Yep – he’s back. And this time he’s playing at the Auditorium Theater, which means actual seats. This has never happened to me before – every time I see him it’s GA and I’m too lazy to show up hours ahead of time to get up close. We got second row aisle! So, not only am I going to be the closest I have ever been, but I can sneak out and get rum and diets without bothering anyone. Should be the perfect show!

I Guess I am Officially Old…

Are you officially old when they start using “cool” music from your teen years to sell you crap on TV? Lately I’ve noticed a few commercials where the music was from my high school or college days. One, is a JC Penny ad using “Only You” from Yaz – one of my favorite songs to this day. Here is a link to it:

Click here

Another, even more disturbing one, was Wendy’s using “Blister in the Sun” by the Violent Femmes to sell double bacon mushroom cheeseburgers! Isn’t that a song about masturbation? I wish I could meet the ad exec that sold this one to Wendy’s. They must have no idea what this song really is… did anyone at Wendy’s bother to read the lyric sheet?

Ritz crackers is also using “I’ll Stop the World and Melt with You” by Modern English, which frankly would be better for bacon double cheeseburgers since I don’t understand the tie in with a cracker. Even in the ad they didn’t melt anything on top of it – just a lot of swirling chicken salad and stuff.

The other one I saw last night was for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups but I can’t find it online anywhere, and I forgot to write the song down, but it was enough to make me notice and feel ancient. Now I know how the baby boomers must feel when they see Dennis Hopper shilling Ameriprise Investments while “Gimme Some Lovin'” booms in the background.

There’s something kind of depressing about it, isn’t there?

I am still alive…

I haven’t blogged in awhile because I have actually been busy working on a project that’s due in a few weeks. Nothing like a deadline I’ve had for three months and is due in two weeks to make me really get to work. Procrastination in an art form for me.

I’ll be back soon….