WTF? Now I Gotta Worry About Knee Wrinkles!?

fuck you oil of olay

Okay, I saw this ad in a cooking magazine the other day. WTF? So now I have to worry that my elbows and knees have “crow’s feet?” Who the hell is thinking about that? Seriously, isn’t it enough that I’m not thin enough, not muscular enough, that my hair is brassy or turning grey, I might have varicose veins or fucking cellulite, or that I’m getting wrinkles and age spots on my face?

I hate these guys. These are the type of marketers that make 12 year olds go on diets. I can just see the marketing genius: “Why are we just focusing on the face? We’re only utilizing 15% of the body! Let’s sell greasy lotion for the other 85%! We’ll be RICH!” What’s next – anti-aging cream the back of my neck? Earlobes? Between my toes? What about my va-jay-jay????

Here’s what I have to say: Fuck you Olay! (Oh, I’m sorry – when did you change your name from Oil of Olay? Probably about that same time you figured that name reminds us of our grandmas or pimple-ridden teenagers.)

Whatever your name is – you guys suck.

3 thoughts on “WTF? Now I Gotta Worry About Knee Wrinkles!?

  1. yeah, you nailed it. It’s all about moving volume for these schmoes. If a brand manager moves more of his crap this quarter than last quarter, then he earns an insane bonus and life for him (or her I suppose) is good. I’m sure the thought process is something like this….Brand manager is daydreaming, thinking of new and innovative ways to move some of his crap. Suddenly, an idea!!! Brand Manager: “hey….most people have big asses. What if we told them this stuff would make their asses SMALLER if used regularly, along with diet and exercise, in real tiny print??? Yeah, that’s the ticket….”

  2. ya think it could make nuts super smooth? Hummmm…..

    Well… I’m not buying it. Even if it could make my boys look like the Olson twins.

    …at least not this week.

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