I’m Famous! (Well, Me and 170 Others…)


Nacho Underpants was listed in this month’s Chicago Magazine as one of 171 Best Chicago Websites!  Actually, the funny thing is that I had picked this issue up at the grocery store the other day, but hadn’t gotten around to reading it yet.  I had no idea I was in it – a phone call from a friend alerted me to my little listing on page 65.  
Okay… yes, I  am listed under a section called “Time Less Well Spent” and also called cynical, snarky and sarcastic – but, hell – it describes me perfectly.
Thanks to Chicago Magazine!  I’m off to buy a chihuahua, a Bentley, giant sunglasses and give Sam Lufti a call.

Beware of the Bose

I got a pair of Bose Quiet Comfort 3® Headphones about a year or so ago.  I was intrigued by the travel aspect of the headphones – noise canceling seems like a great idea when you travel a lot and have to listen to obnoxious dickwads blab on their cell phone for twenty minutes before the flight and start up again the second the plane lands.  (God help us if they ever allow cell phone use during the flight. Anyone who rides a commuter train with any regularity knows why…)
 Anyway, the headphones work great.  They don’t knock out all the noise completely, but they do deafen it quite a bit, which makes things tolerable at least.  Plus, add in an iPod and you are golden.  The problem comes in when you realize that you can’t hear yourself with any degree of certainty regarding the decibel level of your voice.  Couple this with someone who may have a bit of a potty mouth, and suddenly you have quite a problem on your hands.
Case in point:  I’m on a 6am flight to somewhere with my husband, which for me is wrong on a few levels.  I am not at all a morning person, and getting my ass on a plane by 6 means I had to get up at like 3, which totally sucks.  Also, I am not a good flyer – planes scare the hell out of me. Usually I try and self-medicate before a flight with a few Rum & Diets to kind of take the edge off.  Unfortunately, this is not something you can really do on a 6am flight unless your coming out of New Orleans or Vegas or something.  So, not only am I completely crabby because it’s too fucking early, but I’m stone cold sober and more than a little nervous.   Hey… wait a minute!  I’ve got the Bose Comfort 3® Headphones!  I put them on and try and go to a happy place with music.  It’s working – I’m getting relaxed and even kind of dozing off a little bit.
Then it happens.
My husband dumps a hot cup of coffee all over my lap while I am sleeping.  He claims later it was an accident because we hit some turbulence and he knocked it over with his sleeve or something – but somehow he manages to spill the entire thing on to me without getting any on him and I am soaked.  I jump out of my seat wild-eyed and scream “WHAT THE FUCK?!!”   Then I notice pretty much every other person in the plane turn and stare at me.  Oh, did I mention it was spring break, so most of the plane were little kids going to Florida with their parents?  
My husband later told me that I was as loud as I could possibly be.  I blame it on the headphones.  That, and the fact that I now had a completely soaked ass full of coffee for the rest of the flight. (This happened about 20 minutes in to a 3-hour flight.)  And I had jeans on so they never dried.  And my seat was soaked as well.   And my husband wouldn’t say he was sorry.*
So, although I can highly recommend the Bose Quiet Comfort 3® Headphones I think they should have to add this disclaimer:  
CAUTION:  You May Be Louder Than You Think You Are When Screaming Obscenities.
* According to my husband, he did mention that he was sorry but supposedly I didn’t hear it  – again due to the headphones.  This is still a small point of contention, but I thought I would mention it in the vein of journalistic fairness