Beware of the Bose

I got a pair of Bose Quiet Comfort 3® Headphones about a year or so ago.  I was intrigued by the travel aspect of the headphones – noise canceling seems like a great idea when you travel a lot and have to listen to obnoxious dickwads blab on their cell phone for twenty minutes before the flight and start up again the second the plane lands.  (God help us if they ever allow cell phone use during the flight. Anyone who rides a commuter train with any regularity knows why…)
 Anyway, the headphones work great.  They don’t knock out all the noise completely, but they do deafen it quite a bit, which makes things tolerable at least.  Plus, add in an iPod and you are golden.  The problem comes in when you realize that you can’t hear yourself with any degree of certainty regarding the decibel level of your voice.  Couple this with someone who may have a bit of a potty mouth, and suddenly you have quite a problem on your hands.
Case in point:  I’m on a 6am flight to somewhere with my husband, which for me is wrong on a few levels.  I am not at all a morning person, and getting my ass on a plane by 6 means I had to get up at like 3, which totally sucks.  Also, I am not a good flyer – planes scare the hell out of me. Usually I try and self-medicate before a flight with a few Rum & Diets to kind of take the edge off.  Unfortunately, this is not something you can really do on a 6am flight unless your coming out of New Orleans or Vegas or something.  So, not only am I completely crabby because it’s too fucking early, but I’m stone cold sober and more than a little nervous.   Hey… wait a minute!  I’ve got the Bose Comfort 3® Headphones!  I put them on and try and go to a happy place with music.  It’s working – I’m getting relaxed and even kind of dozing off a little bit.
Then it happens.
My husband dumps a hot cup of coffee all over my lap while I am sleeping.  He claims later it was an accident because we hit some turbulence and he knocked it over with his sleeve or something – but somehow he manages to spill the entire thing on to me without getting any on him and I am soaked.  I jump out of my seat wild-eyed and scream “WHAT THE FUCK?!!”   Then I notice pretty much every other person in the plane turn and stare at me.  Oh, did I mention it was spring break, so most of the plane were little kids going to Florida with their parents?  
My husband later told me that I was as loud as I could possibly be.  I blame it on the headphones.  That, and the fact that I now had a completely soaked ass full of coffee for the rest of the flight. (This happened about 20 minutes in to a 3-hour flight.)  And I had jeans on so they never dried.  And my seat was soaked as well.   And my husband wouldn’t say he was sorry.*
So, although I can highly recommend the Bose Quiet Comfort 3® Headphones I think they should have to add this disclaimer:  
CAUTION:  You May Be Louder Than You Think You Are When Screaming Obscenities.
* According to my husband, he did mention that he was sorry but supposedly I didn’t hear it  – again due to the headphones.  This is still a small point of contention, but I thought I would mention it in the vein of journalistic fairness

5 thoughts on “Beware of the Bose

  1. hee hee….you should have upgraded to the Bose “cone of silence” model, whereby you could curse your derrière off and never offend a soul.

    Actually, I jumped on a pair of Bose qc headphones a few years back to try and quell the volume coming from some boisterous cubemates.

    The qc’s work great for a steady, white noise source like jet engines, but don’t do much more than muffle peak and valley sounds like voices, so they didn’t really solve my problem.

    They are pretty great when you attach music or airplane audio, although you look like a doofus….

  2. Long-time reader, first time poster. Ok, that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all week (and I can picture the entire escapade in my mind). I’m constantly reminded by my wife that I need to use my inside voice whenever I have my Bose headphones on. The last flight I asked her if she wanted two more vodkas and got slapped for letting the entire plane know we had a slight drinking problem……

  3. By the way, I love your turtleneck; or is that some weird choker necklace? At any rate, good to see your cartoons again….

  4. Dex doesn’t know what an inside voice is. Had to purchase my own set of Bose QC3’s just to wear around the house.

    Wouldn’t it be funny to see you AND Dex side by side on a plane with your Bose QC3’s, leaving out of Vegas at 6am? No extra charge for the entertainment!

    Maybe you should ask him why he wears the headset when he goes into the airplane bathroom? Hmmm…

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