So one of my good friends emailed me last week and told me about how she is in a wedding over the weekend where she was asked to be the “cake cutter.” WTF is a cake cutter? You mean, you get up and cut the cake for everyone???? Is that a real wedding job? What – were all the “candle lighters” and “passage readers” already taken?
I’ve had my fair share of lame wedding jobs over the years – you know, the ones they kind of make up to still technically have you in the wedding, but you’re not really the A-team, if you know what I mean. (One time I was in charge of the programs. Yes, my job was to hand out the programs at the church – and the fact that I was handing out the programs was actually listed in the program, which is a whole other level of irony, but I digress…) Anyway, I have never heard of a cake cutter before. It sounds made-up, and really – isn’t it just one step above the caterer?
Oh, and I helpfully pointed out to my friend that she’d better practice – because cutting a wedding cake without demolishing it is harder than it looks – and how would she like to be the one to cut it wrong and have the whole thing collapse on the floor in front of everyone? …She said thanks for the advice and now she was totally freaked out.
I haven’t heard how it went yet.