I’m not a big coffee drinker. I mean, yes, I have coffee, but I don’t really like it all that much. I hardly ever go to Starbucks, and I never drink coffee in a restaurant unless I am completely hung over or if it’s an Irish Coffee – which is really just a warm whisky delivery system. But, sometimes I do drink coffee just for the hell of it (although I have to drink it with a packet of Sweet ‘n Low and sometimes milk) and I recently made an odd discovery.
I always noticed when I drank mainstream coffee like Folgers or Maxwell House with my little burst of fake sugar it tasted like… something. Something familiar. Something from a long time ago. I don’t know when I realized it, but suddenly I knew what it was. It was Super Sugar Crisp. Yes, coffee with sugar and milk tastes exactly like a big bowl of my favorite childhood cereal, Super Sugar Crisp. (Yes, I know they did away with the ‘sugar’ in the name way back in the 80s sometime and now it is Super Golden Crisp, but it will always be Super Sugar Crisp to me.)
So, I began to think about why in the hell does Super Sugar Crisp taste like coffee? Was it to hook children on the taste of coffee at young age so they would like crummy coffee later in life? If so, who would benefit from such a clandestine scheme? The Post Coprporation is the manufacturer of Super Sugar Crisp. Do they own a coffee brand? Well, strangely enough – yes.
A cursory Google on the Post corporation shows that Post began marketing Maxwell House coffee in 1929. Super Sugar Crisp was introduced in 1949. Post later became General Foods and Maxwell House was the #1 coffee brand in the United States well into the 1980s.
Another cursory Google seems to show that I am the first person to stumble upon this vast conspiricy to hook kids on crappy coffee though the use of crappy cereal. How deep does this conspiracy go? Who knew what when? Am I in danger exposing this vast ploy?
Coincidence? You be the judge….