Post Office Can’t Manage to Send Stamps

slow

So I’m lazy and like to do a lot of things from my computer.  In fact, I haven’t set foot in a mall for Christmas in over three years.  So, this year for my Christmas cards I decided to order my stamps online from the Post Office.  What could be easier?  I can see all the different stamps, they aren’t out of any, there’s no line and no driving around!  Well, my perfect plan had a small snag – it took NINE DAYS to get my stamps.

Nine days?  WTF?  Could you be any fucking slower?  How on earth does it take nine days to put a couple of sheets of stamps in the mail and mail them considering THAT’S WHAT YOU DO.

It’s no secret that the Post Office sucks.  I’m sure the mail service was amazing in 1805 when ma and pa could hear about Junior getting run over by a buffalo within three months time.  2008? …Not so much.  They should just shut the crappy post office down and let FedEx do it.  Fed Ex can get you something from anywhere to anywhere overnight since 1973 for God’s sake!

Remember Zippy the Zip code guy?  Well, I don’t either, because it was a little before my time – but Zippy was a logo of a speedy mail carrier used by the Post Office in the late 60s to get the public to use the newfangled Zip code system.  (I guess before that you just put “Tiffany, Chicago, IL” and got your mail that way?)  Well…

Zippy’s dead., baby.  Zippy’s dead.