The Suckage of Allen Brothers Steaks

steak

No… not the steaks – their meat is beyond fantastic.  What sucks is their crappy customer service reps – who have now fucked us over for the holidays not once – but twice.  For the past two years we have ordered Allen Brothers Steaks for my in-laws for Chirstmas – and for the past two years Allen Brothers has failed to deliver the goddamn steaks in time for Christmas for no apparent reason other than their own incompetence. 

Last year after the steaks failed to show up as planned five days before Chirstmas, we called  customer service and found out that although they had a record of the order leaving the warehouse, somehow it was eternally on a FedEx truck and never delivered – even after five days of calling.  Um, we live in Chicago, where Allen Brothers is located.  It does not take five days to get from Chicago to Chicago (well, unless you’re the Post Office, but that’s another story…)  Each day they would tell us it was on the truck “out for delivery,” and each day nothing showed up.  After a week, they finally conceded that perhaps the steaks were not “out for delivery” and sent out new steaks.  Problem solved, although we looked like the assholes who got nothing for our parents for Christmas in front of the entire family, but oh, well.  Anyone can have a snafu, right?

This year we were suckers again and ordered more steaks to be delivered to my in-laws.  (Yes, I know – but they are that good….) On Christmas morning we trek over to my in-laws’ house to open presents.  It is then that we realize that the steaks have failed to show up once again.  They were scheduled to arrive on the 23rd.  Again, we look like idiots to the rest of the family.  One of them asked my why we keep ordering from them if they keep forgetting to actually deliver the order on time.  Good fucking question!  My husband calls this morning and the very uninterested CSR looks up the order and says that – oops – they forgot to send it out.  That was the entire sum of the explanation on where the steaks were.  No apologies, no offers to make it right.  They just forgot to ship it.  WTF?

Well, I think I will forget to order from them again any time soon.  If you order from them, just know that their delivery is crappy, and the Customer Service reps don’t give a shit.  But, those steaks are damn good!  Curse you, Allen Brothers!