The Scariest Children’s Book in the World: Chapter 5

First off, my sincere apologies to have kept you all waiting for the final thrilling chapter of the never-ending saga of the The Three Little Crack Kittens!  I was traveling out of the country last week and internet was spotty at best.  The only things that worked consistently was my Facebook and Twitter apps on the iPhone – go figure.

Here is the final chapter in all it’s glory:

“What! washed your mittens,
You darling kittens!”
“But I smell a mouse close by!
Hush! hush! hush!”

Yes, that is the actual punctuation and capitalization of the final verse of this so-called book.  Nice editing, Renewal Educational Games and Aids Division!  Obviously they don’t understand at Renewal that an exclamation point does, indeed, end the sentence.

Maybe it’s me, but this whole story really makes no sense.  There is no real ending, of course – the excitement of the pie is over, I get the part about washing your mittens without being asked, but what the hell is this ending? A basic plot is:  Intro, Conflict, Resolution, Lesson, End.  This stupid story had none of these.

I guess it’s just another reason it is a good thing I don’t have any children.

Thank you to Helena Handbasket for the wonderful gift!