Airport Bars of the World: FLL

FT. LAUDERDALE, Florida, USA –  Ft Lauderdale/Hollywood International Airport
Boat House Bar
Terminal 4

Well, it was bound to happen one day: I have finally come across the worst airport bar so far in my quest to visit them all.  Ladies and Gentlemen: I give you the One Star Rating for the Boat House Bar in Terminal 4 of the Ft. Lauderdale airport.  Actually, the whole Ft Lauderdale airport is one big snooze.  I should have known something was up when we stopped in the bar before security (also called the Boat House – they don’t even try to hide that all the restaurants and bars are run by some lame ConglomoCorp.) and noticed that the only place to eat was a crappy Sbarros.  Well, unless you count the cold plastic container sandwiches that they heat up on a George Foreman grill in the bar.  I don’t.

So we decide to go for it and cross over to security and see what’s beyond the safety of the Boat House.  Turns out it’s not much.  It’s another Boat House!  Except this one has no seats and is the size of a postage stamp.  And it’s attached to a Nathan’s where the tables are also all standing room only.  And it was kind of like the most depressing place on the planet.  About 25 people are trying to get drinks from a haggled man behind the bar that is literally the size of a large refrigerator.  Let’s just say it didn’t go down well with my shoving a crappy Nathan’s down my gullet while standing at a table that hadn’t been cleaned since Clinton was in office.  It was so bad, in fact, that we actually left the bar and went and sat at the gate.  For me to actually leave a bar on my own accord should explain how truly awful this place was.

It was also so bad that I didn’t get a picture of it and I hope never to see it again to get one.

Plusses: I gave it one star as it did serve alcohol
Minuses: Too small, too cramped, too busy, too dirty, to annoying, too depressing, too awful

A T-Rating® of 1 out of 5

One thought on “Airport Bars of the World: FLL

  1. I told you FLL sucked. I can’t remember if the Boat House was there, but the one bar we did find was packed with a single bartender who wouldn’t make me a margarita. He says ” How bout a beer?” How lazy can you be? I see the mix right behind the bar; just pour me a shot in a glass of ice and pour the mix in; is that harder than popping the top off a beer bottle? I guess it was because I didn’t get my ‘grita; instead I get a warm Miller Lite, nice right?

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