Chili’s and the Menu from Hell

So I was at Chili’s the other day.  I know, I know… but we had to bowl for our fun league and that’s the only restaurant that’s near by – and if I have to eat there or at the bowling alley… well, I think Chili’s eeks out a win by a smidgen or so.  (Although the bowling alley does have fried pickles, which sounds strangely good, but I have yet to have them.)

The first thing I notice is that it is almost impossible to get anything even remotely good for you on this menu.  Oh, sure, they have their “Guiltless” section – but that only claims that the meal is 750 calories or less.  750 calories is “guiltless?”  WTF is the rest of it, then?  The thought scares me.

Second, a certain salad catches my eye:  The Quesadilla Explosion.  Now, again – I’m no marketing genius, but putting the words “quesadilla” and “explosion” in the same sentence seems like a bad idea.  Also, since it’s obviously not “guiltless” – I pass.

So, I ended up getting the basic Old Timer burger but had them sub the burger for a black bean burger.  Then, I get home and look it up and even that has 650 calories!  WTF?

No wonder we are a nation of fat-asses.

Bitch

I thought you were talented….

BTW – the real talent is Bob Fosse’s wife – in 1969.  Google: Mexican Breakfast.

Target: Rules

I was at Target today and they had this playing over and over near the Pharmacy section.  I wasn’t sure if I thought they were lucky…or not.

God, this would have been a dream job.

PS   It’s a band called Starfucker,  Gotta love it.

KFC Has Balls of Fat

Thanks to one of my faithful readers for giving me a heads up on this new delicacy from KFC.  May I introduce you to the KFC Double Down:  Bacon, cheese, special sauce with two pieces of fried chicken as the “bun.”   There is literally not one ingredient in this so-called sandwich that isn’t heart-stopping in it’s pure fatiness.  It’s basically squares of fat, with strips of fat, with a sauce of fat between two proteins dipped in fat and fried…. in fat.

I have to applaud KFC for having the balls to introduce this monstrosity in this day and age of White House vegetable gardens and british chefs telling us we eat crap.  It’s like KFC just gave a big fried chicken finger to all the  tofu-lovin’ organic-buyin’ tree-huggin’ namby-pamby big brother liberal crybabies out there.  America, fuck yeah!

Not sure it’s good marketing move to kill your demographic, though.

The Double Down will be available April 12. Cardiologists everywhere prepare to double down on business.

Perhaps an Easter Surprise?

I know it’s been awhile since I blogged.  Between working on a big, overdue project, regular work, family parties and travel – I have been too busy to blog.  But, I didn’t want to leave you high and dry for Easter this weekend, so here is something the whole family will enjoy – the Monterey Soufflé Molded Tuna Salad!  It has that Easter-y look, doesn’t it?  And, that Barf-in-the-Freezer look as well!

I gave up all deep-fried foods for lent (No, I’m not Catholic, but why can’t I do it anyway?) which according to all the shit I got from friends, was the most ridiculous thing ever.  Every time I said, “Oh, I can’t have that” I got a lot of crap about how what’s the difference between fried and deep fried – why can I have diner hash browns, but not McDonald’s hash browns – what if it was deep fried tofu or broccoli, etc. etc.  It didn’t help that I have given up french fries for the entire year, which just added another layer to the conversation. Did I mention that some of my friends are assholes?

Enjoy the holiday weekend!