Happy Thanksgiving!

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Well – Happy Thanksgiving to everyone out there!  I will be celebrating this all-american holiday like most people – by drinking too much and consuming a large meal consisting of 10% protein and 90% carb fest.  Did you know the typical thanksgiving dinner has around 3,000 calories?  And that doesn’t even count the alcohol… for shame!  Oh, well – it tastes good anyway.

I posted a picture of stuffing instead of the ubiquitous image of the golden turkey because I don’t even like turkey that much, but I looooooooove stuffing.  In fact, give me a large plate of stuffing and a couple of glasses of wine, and I’m set, thanks.

Have a good holiday!

In Honor of President’s Day (a few days late…)

 

This little ditty really shines a light on the man we know as George Washington.  Very interesting and informative video cartoon set to music you can’t get out of your head.  I promise you’ll learn things you never knew about General Washington, such as that he was 12 stories tall, fucked the shit out of bears, invented cocaine and made of radiation – among other things. 

Oh, someone mentioned I should post when these things aren’t safe for work, but I figured that if you’re reading my blog, you know chances are it may not be safe for work anyway.  But, I’ll comply.

NSFW!

Thanks to wonkette.com 

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Here it is Valentine’s Day already…  I was in a gift shop yesterday picking up something for a friend’s daughter’s birthday and I saw the hordes of confused, wide-eyed men, searching for something, anything to give their SOs.  It’s always kind of a sad scene – – you can smell the desperation emitting from their stressed out pores.  The salesladies were trying to be helpful – but it didn’t seem to be helping as they always seemed to shuffle them back over to the expensive display of jewelry and purses.  It kind of reminded me of that scene in Animal House when Pinto and Flounder were rushing at the Omega house and they kept taking them back to meet Mohammet, Jugdish, Sydney and Clayton.

One man in front of me was getting a yoga ball and workout tape set.  I certainly hope it was for him or he’s gonna be sorry today.  Another was picking up one of those “Life is Good” t-shirts that was pink and FOR THE CURE.  Nice thought – – poor execution.  Still another was staring off into space as he tried his best to pick from the giant wall of ugly Vera Bradley crap.  This was the man I felt the most sorry for – you know he felt like I would if I were staring at a wall of belt sanders.

Frankly, Valentine’s Day is kind of a sham.  From the heartbreak of not getting enough valentines in your paper sack in third grade to trying to outdo yourself every year – sometimes it’s too much pressure!  I just read a quote from Heidi Klum who says that two people who love each other should show it every day instead of only once a year.  I am lucky enough to have someone who does that for me, and I hope he thinks I do the same for him.  It’s about the little things – not about fancy dinners, expensive gifts and roses.

Hey, but you shoulda seen the flowers I got today!!!  Heidi Klum, eat your heart out! 

Special Recipe to End 2007

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I know I haven’t blogged for awhile – but it’s been pretty hectic with the holidays and everything.  We had a great Christmas Eve with Ham, Scalloped Potatoes, Green Beans, Cheddar Buttermilk Biscuits and a Chocolate Pecan Tart.   I have to admit, I am totally Christmassed-out.  I think it was that extra week between Thanksgiving and Christmas this year that did it.  I can’t eat or drink one more molecule.

 

To bring us to the end of 2007 and ring in 2008 right, I am posting one of my favorite recipes from my famous McCalls Great American Recipe Card Collection.  This wonderful meatfest is called Chili and Meatball Casserole.  Now, maybe it’s just me, but isn’t adding meatballs to meat-based chili a bit of meat overkill?  Yes, the recipe calls for 4 lbs of ground beef – 2 for the chili and 2 for the meatballs.  This recipe really should be called Meat with More Meat and a Li’l Chili.

 

Then again, we do have the XL Meat Lovers Pizza over at the Hut, which is a best seller…. 


Anyway, I am away on vacation until after the first of the year – so Happy 2008!

Brooks Brothers Christmas Catalog Hilarity

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 When Warren Allerton Standish Pennington the Third wears his “Fun Pants,” Blackie the Lab knows he’ll be drunk before noon.  

I laughed out loud more than once at this snarky commentary about the 2007 Brooks Brothers Christmas Catalog.  

From Jezebel.com: 

The Brooks Brothers catalog is for WASPs or those interested in dressing like WASPs. The clothes are safe, classic, predictable and boring, but the models are actually scintillating…when they have dialogue and backstories supplied for them! Slip into your loafers and have a brandy by the fire with Muffy and the gang. Plus: The answer to the question, “Are there any black people in the Brooks Brothers catalog?”  


Click here to see it all.

Happy Hanukkah!

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Happy Hanukkah to all my Jewish pals out there!  

 I saw this yesterday and couldn’t help but chuckle a little.  A blogger named Nancy Kay Shapiro happened to wander into her local NYC Balducci’s a few days ago and saw a few signs touting spiral cut ham, petite smoked ham and boneless ham as “Perfect for Chanukah!” She couldn’t have said it better:

“…I blinked at for a couple of secs, trying to decide if this was an example of truly monumental cluelessness or … nah. It’s just the Department of Monumental Cluelessness, Well-Meaning Division.” 

 

Click here for the full story. 

Log Roast for the Holidays

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I guess it’s officially the holiday season (Well, Walgreens put out their holiday decorations the day after Halloween, but I digress…) so I thought I’d post a nice holiday meal for you all out there – the lovely Venison Log Pot Roast.  It’s the perfect meal for those of you with pica!

 I’d like mine well done, please – with a side of sawdust.

Enough with the @#$!%#! Grocery Store Entrance Fundraisers

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Am I the only person who is completely sick of the people hanging out at the front of the grocery store soliciting money for every conceivable charitable function?  I mean, once in awhile is OK – but it seems more and more that every fucking time I go to the store, there is someone blocking my way in or out with a can and a story.  I just want to go in, get my bottle of rum and get the hell home already.

It seems that these solicitation stories fall under one of three categories: 

The Shady M&M Guys

 What is up with those M&M guys?  First off, it never seems to be for anything specific.  It’s just, “Hey… wanna buy some M&Ms?”  Why am I buying M&Ms at a 200% markup from you for when I can get them inside?  Why are they always Peanut M&Ms?   Where did you come from?  Why do you scare me?  Somehow I think that a giant ship container full of Peanut M&Ms was stolen sometime in 1987  and they are still making the rounds today.

Local High School Fundraiser

This is what I was subjected to yesterday. Sullen teens with gum (usually girls for some reason) stand outside the door and act completely bored while explaining what lame cause they are involved in. It’s usually something ridiculously small (new paint for the girl’s locker room) or way too big (world hunger!) .  I always get the feeling that this is some sort of punishment for talking in class or something rather than concerned young people doing good in the community.  I guess that’s the cynic in me, but I bet if you asked one of them what Darfur was, they would think it was a pair of $250 jeans or something.

 Old School

This category covers your Rotary Club spaghetti dinners, Salvation Army bell-ringers, Lion’s Club pancake breakfasts, Girl Scout Cookies, Firemen with the big boots, Greenpeace, people running for local office, those weird Asian ladies with the nurses’ uniforms (what the hell is that one, anyway?) etc. etc.  It’s not that I have a problem with these types of charities, but more that it seems they are there a lot more often than I remember in the past.  It’s almost as if they all have a Master Calendar that lists what charity can work what Jewel on what date.  Imagine the awkwardness if the Lion’s Club was there there the same day as the Purple Heart Veterans?

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t mean to dis any one charity, or those that volunteer their time and energy to such causes, but there are other ways to raise money and/or awareness than to accost me at the store.  Especially when it’s every single fucking day.

OK, yes, I give them money.  What do you think I am… an asshole?