If I Only Had These Balls…

I’m having client problems again.  Well, not really again – it’s always the same fucking client with the same fucking idiotic problems.  Sometimes I really feel if I were to give myself a lobotomy it may be better, as then at least this client and I would be on a level playing field.   When I am feeling this way, I sometimes turn to this chap’s website, as his copies of emails and stories regarding his graphic design business always makes me laugh.  I wish I had his balls.

Here is a link to my favorite of his hilarious posts – although they are all pretty funny.  Also, check out “Missing Missy” and “Overdue Account”.

Taking a deep breath, and back to work…

I’m baaaaaaaack!

Oh, good lord – I have been away for awhile!  I had been working on a big project, which I am happy to say is done for the time being (Phase II is due by the end of September) so I can get back to what is important in life:  bitching, traveling and eating.

So, while I was gone:

  • 303 Taxi Still Sucks
  • I went to Chili’s again last week, and just said, “fuck it” and got some disgusting chicken boners or whatever they’re called and felt sick all night.  Last bowling until fall, so I won’t be back there any time soon, thank Jeebus.
  • I still get the same amount of hits on this site whether I am writing or not.  Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

It’s good to be back in the world of the living!

NEWS ALERT: Allen Brothers Delivers Steaks On Time!

In the interest of objective reporting, I must confess that I once again ordered some steaks from Allen Brothers, and –  lo and behold – they arrived the day they said they would!

Now, granted, this was a personal order for me, not a gift as has been the problem in the past. It’s also 3 weeks from Christmas.  But, I had to give kudos where kudos is due.

In other breaking news:

303 Taxi Still Sucks!

Happy Anniversary to The Pants!

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Well folks, it was three years ago this week that Nacho Underpants was born.  To celebrate, I will be posting links to some classic posts all this week via my Twitter page.  When I started this blog, it really was more because I wanted to be the next Perez Hilton and get to become famous for doing really nothing except sitting on a computer all day.  Then I realized that Perez Hilton is a tool.

No, I didn’t become famous (outside of getting listed in Chicago Magazine as one of 171 Best Chicago Websites in 2008), but all in all it’s been fun writing for you average of 200 people per day.  It’s been a great way to fill that inner-need to be a ham. (Or a Liver Sausage Pineapple.)

Viva La Pants!

Congratulations Rammies!

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A big congratulations to my Colorado State Rams for the upset of the week – beating the annoying CU Buffaloes yesterday while being 10 1/2 point underdogs.  The last time the Rammies beat the Buffs at Folsom Field was 23 years ago, when I was a freshman!

Suck it, Buffs!

I know…

I’ve been a bad blogger lately.  I’ve been crazy busy and am traveling yet again.  Be back soon.  Here’s a little song for your entertainment pleasure:

A Bag of Poo for You!

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So I get a piece of mail from MAC cosmetics last week, which I figured was junk mail since I don’t buy from MAC.  For some reason I opened it and soon realized that it was a receipt for $160 of cosmetics!  Some asshat had obviously compromised my credit card number and decided to use it to order themselves a online “gift” from me!

Well, what they didn’t know was that now I have their name and address since it was on the SHIP TO section of the receipt.  So, I collected some goodies outside courtesy of my yellow lab and will be shipping them a new “gift” from me today.

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So, enjoy your bag of poo, TRANG PHAM of TEMPE, AZ.  (Oh, and I called the cops, too.)

Why Nacho Underpants?

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Someone asked me the other day why the hell I would call my blog ‘Nacho Underpants’ instead of The Titillating Tales of Tiffany or some such crap.  Well, it’s kind of a tribute – and has been for over 20 years.

Back in my college days I had a weekly comic strip in the student paper that was also called Nacho Underpants.  The name came from a panel of one of my favorite comic strips, Life in Hell – which you may or may not know – was drawn by none other than Matt Groening in his pre-Simpsons days.  In fact, after my comic strip had been running a few years, I wrote Matt Groening and enclosed a copy of a few of my strips along with a letter explaining my tribute to him. He actually wrote me back and drew me my own comic, which, although framed, unforutnately has been ravaged by time and has faded somewhat over the years!  (see below) If he’d only used black pen for all of it instead of just my name – Bongo (the rabbit) was drawn in blue pen, and his signature was in red pen.  I always thought that was so cool of him, even though the Simpsons had not come out yet and he was hardly famous at the time – he was famous to me.

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Anyway, obviously my plan of having a comic strip in real life did not work out.  It’s a sorry tale of dream-crushing letters, big city drug dealers, and insider information that will have to wait for another day to be told.