Blago: How Could You?

All summer I have been waiting with bated breath for the sure-t0-be spectacular sideshow circus otherwise known as the Rod Blagojevich testimony at his corruption trial.  I mean, the guy said over and over again for the last 19 months that he couldn’t wait to speak and set the record straight!  And, lo and behold, when it finally gets down to the wire and it’s time to hear from the Great One he hides behind his lawyers and decides he won’t take the stand!

Rumors abound that  his defense team had been practicing his cross examination last weekend and that he was so abysmal that they decided to just cut their losses and end the case right there.  Pretty ballsy considering they mentioned to the jury more than once in their opening statements that Rod would testify.

I’ve served on a jury before – believe me, nothing this exciting – but I can tell you right now that the minute a defendant decides not to take the stand, I automatically think they are guilty.  I know you’re not supposed to think that, and the judge will instruct this jury to not take this in a prejudicial manner, but it’s just human nature.   I’ve never understood that if you didn’t do it, why wouldn’t you say so?  One reason: You did do it.

Many Chicago talking heads are still betting that Blago will get off – not due to Blago himself testifying or not testifying, but because the case is fairly weak.  But, you never know what a jury is going to do.  I think he’ll be found guilty, but the sentence will be light.

Can’t wait until Monday!

The Blago Trial Begins!

Oh goodie!  After 18 months of anticipation, the Rod Blagojevich corruption trial has begun!

I have a sad confession to make: I voted for Blago. Twice.  And, I hate to say this, but I would probably vote for him again – even though deep down I know he is batshit crazy.  I have a soft spot for Blago because back when I was single and diagnosed with thyroid cancer and couldn’t get health insurance after my COBRA ran out, Blago mandated a program that forced major insurance companies in Illinois to pool people like me and cover us at the same cost as everyone else.  It was a life saver for me, and I’m sure many, many people like me.  Say what you will about nutty Blago, but I think he really believes he was fighting “for the people” when it came to insurance and healthcare for those that got stuck in the shitty system that everyone seems so reluctant to change.  At the time, Illinois was one of only a handful of states that had such a program, and had I lived somewhere else I would have been fucked.

Is he “cuckoo” like Mayor Daley called him back in 2009?  Yes.  Is he guilty of corruption?  Probably – but so is every other politician from this state, including those that have gone on to bigger and better things.  Anyone that lives here knows how things work – I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just saying that’s how it is.  This type of shit happens every single day.  Rod just made the mistake of pissing off the wrong people and thinking he was beyond reproach because, well, he’s batshit crazy, remember?  It comes full circle.

Many pundits here in Chicago think that the case against Blago is weak and he may walk.  I think that juries are basically too stupid to follow the facts (I know this from personal experience on a jury) and it is really just a crapshoot.  But, if he is convicted, then he won’t be alone:  He can join our other esteemed Governor Ryan in the big house and help us live up to the motto:

Illinois:  Where the Governors Make the License Plates.

Obama Obama Obama



You know, I am as excited as anyone to get Mr. Bush out of there and Mr. Obama in, but I have to be honest and tell you that I am kind of getting sick of the Obama-mania.  The guy is on the tube all day every day it seems, and he’s not even in office yet!.  Every TV show has Obama as a subject matter no matter what the tie-in.  Everything from two hour-long 60 Minutes episodes to nightly updates on Entertainment Tonight for God’s sake! Entertainment Tonight???!! He’s on every magazine cover from Time to GQ.  GQ????!!  It’s completely ridiculous.  Yesterday I tried to keep count of how many times I heard the words “Barack Obama” and I actually lost count at around 30.  

It doesn’t help that my home state is a laughing-stock as the rest of the world snickers at the complete and utter corruption that is Illinois politics.  Of course, we all knew in here in Illinois what was what, but we certainly don’t need the rest of the world knowing about it. (Good luck with that Olympics bid now, Chicago!)   Our illustrious Governor Blowjob was impeached today, a first in Illinois, but he still seems to come out on top on having everyone in a tizzy.  His appointment of Roland Burris as the fill-in for Obama’s senate seat was nothing short of evil genius. But, even with all this hub-bub going on here in my state, all I hear all day is Obama Obama Obama Obama.

I need a vacation.  Oh, yeah – I will be leaving tomorrow for a week.  I’ll be back just in time for the inauguration!

* sigh *

How Did De-bate Skool Go, Sarah?

Yes, I watched the VP debate last night, and no, Sarah Palin did not do as completely awful as I expected her to based on watching her Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric interviews – – but was she anywhere near good? Is this someone ya want runin’ the good ol’ US of A a winkin’ and a noddin’?  I honestly never thought I’d see someone less intelligent than W running for a top office in our country, but she makes him look like a Yale graduate.  (snarf.)

Come, on – be honest.  You know she sucked – she just didn’t suck as badly as everyone thought she would, so now everyone says “she held her own” or “knocked it out of the park.”  Um, hardly. 

One of my favorite quotes from Al Gore applies here.  He likes to say this when people remark in surprise on how funny he is:

“I benefit from low expectations.”

What My Dog Thinks of Obama’s Speech

Yeah, Quimby – I thought it would be better, too.

I don’t know… I’m not all up about Obama as it seems everyone else in the world is these days.  Maybe it’s because I’m from Chicago and know that he’s done nothing but run for the next office when he’s supposed to be doing his job in the office I elected him to.  That kind of pisses me off a little, as I’ve been used to the Rostenkowskis of the world “bringin’ home the bacon” as they say.  I had a friend in the stadium that said it was really cool – – I’m sure being there in person was very different from watching it on TV – wine or not.

Don’t get me wrong – I have always voted Democratic and I’m not about to change that now. And, I think it’s totally amazing that we have finally realized that it’s okay to have someone besides a square white guy as our President.  So yes, I’ll vote for him –  but I’m not totally dancing in the streets about it.

(Bring Bill back! I’d vote for him 100x over)

 PS – Don’t those iPhones take FANTASTIC pictures?

Pologos™ – Judging the Candidates by their Logos



Okay, let’s talk political logos.  Or, as I just coined the phrase, Pologos ™  (copyright, Nacho Underpants, 2008.  All rights reserved.)  

The Obama logo looks like someone did it in class at ITT Tech.  I’ve read it’s supposed to look “fresh” and “new”  and like a sun coming over the horizon,  but every time I see it I am reminded of a poorly done  industrial corn fuel company logo.   Plus, the lettering for Obama ’08 is like the lamest font ever.  I think that is the default Times New Roman and no one even bothered to at least bold it or something!  Plus, the apostrophe used for ’08 is a left curly apostophe, which although technically correct, looks odd.  Maybe a space would help.  Overall, it is a very amateurish design.
The Hillary logo is traditional and snoozeville.  It’s got all the cliché elements:  Red white and blue colors, flagish ribbon, stripes and stars.  The one thing I kind of wonder about is why they use her first name instead of last name like everyone else?  Do they really think that if they use “Clinton” that dumb asses would think it was Bill again instead of her?  Actually, people probably are that stupid – but maybe that would be a good thing – I’d vote for Bill again if I could.  But, I find it kind of annoying that we need to be on  a first name basis with her and not any men.  I mean, wouldn’t it look stupid if McCain’s signs read “JOHN FOR PRESIDENT”?  It’s too cutsey and girlie and in my mind brings her down a notch.
McCain’s logo is actually my favorite.  I like the deep dark blue color with the gold contrast, and anyone who knows me knows I am partial to stars.  It’s a good, strong military-ish star -I suppose to subconsciously remind us of his military background.  The font is nice, too – strong and sans-serif to show that he’s not fucking around with any effeminate curly-cues or anything.  I like that it doesn’t look like it came from a college student or an automatic political sign generating company.  
Good job, McCain!  Too bad I wouldn’t vote for you in a million years!