Seinfeld: Bubble Boy (Not Balloon Boy)

For some reason, whenever I have been talking about the Balloon Boy or his idiotic father, I keep saying ‘Bubble Boy”.  It must be a side effect of watching too much Seinfeld. So, I figured maybe it was a good time to post this little clip for the real Bubble Boy.

MOOPS!

PS: Speaking of Balloon Boy, chalk it up to my old home state to be home to yet another nutball.  And, they live in Ft. Collins no less – home to my hapless Rams.  (And, a hapless Sheriff’s Dept, apparently.)

Happy Anniversary Seinfeld!

It was 20 years ago this week that the first Seinfeld episode (then called The Seinfeld Chronicles) aired on NBC.  Yikes!  It’s hard to believe, as I was in college at the time and was too busy drinking to watch TV.  The strange thing was that I never really watched Seinfeld until years later, and didn’t even realize how funny it was until I started watching the repeats on TBS.

The second-funniest thing about Seinfeld, besided the show?  The hideous 90s clothes.  Check out Jerry’s shirt in the clip above!  I can so remember that being the look, with the Levis and the white tennis shoes.  One step away from Hammer Time!

“And you want to be my latex salesman.”

Seinfeld: He Took It Out!

Another one of my absolute favorites from Seinfeld.  “Oh, it be!”  Kills me every time.  

(And, dammit –  I want to know the whole pachyderm story!)

I can’t say I’ve had the pleasure of having someone “take it out” when it wasn’t invited – unless “it” is unwanted engagement rings.

TBS Still Messin’ with My Seinfeld

luv_the_sein

What up, TBS?  You still messin’ with my Seinfeld and it’s pissing me off.  First, you move it to a different time after five years of me watching every day.  Now, you move it to yet another time, and – inexplicably – you are running them out of order?  Why do I want to tune in to see random episodes?  I need to see the progression of the show as God intended – why do you have to fuck with perfection?

PUT THEM BACK IN ORDER BEFORE I LOSE IT.

Thx.

You Sold Me a Short Rib with a Hair Around it!

 

Okay, remember when I told you that I went to Napa a few weeks ago with some friends – you know, when the idiots at the TSA stole $30 worth of duxelles from me and threw them in the garbage?  Well, I have another Napa story to share with you.

My friends and I wanted to “splurge” one night while we were there at a really fabulous restaurant, so we picked one of Thomas Keller’s and made our reservations months in advance.  So, our big night comes and we are excited to see what’s on the menu that night: a braised beef short rib over homemade pappardelle – yum! Considering that every one of us in our group has some sort of silly food issue, this is a positive sign that this is something that we all like.

The first course comes, and it’s a fresh heirloom tomato/mozzarella salad with some sort of crack-sauce.  Oops – I mean sherry vinaigrette… it was probably one of the most perfect Caprese salads I have ever had.  I could have eaten five pounds of it and gone home right then and been perfectly happy.

Then, the short rib.  Everything here is served family style, so it’s a hearty helping of boned short ribs that, the waiter tells us, has been braised for 48 hours.  So, we dig in and it is truly sublime.  These short ribs were amazing as they were as thick as a steak, and hardly had any fat on them.  We are all ooohing and ahhhing and I had just  mentioned that I thought there was a very small amount of tarragon in the dish, when suddenly I realize my friend next to me is freaking out.

Yes, there was a hair on her short rib.  A little short black one. And it ain’t hers or mine, that’s for damn sure!  (And, no – it’s not what you’re thinking – it wasn’t a pube or anything like that – I can’t take you guys anywhere…)  Anyway, my friend is totally grossed out and is done with that portion of her meal, even though she only had a few bites.  This starts a discussion around the table about what we should do.  In the end, we don’t say anything to anyone, and we enjoyed the next two courses (which were unbelievably fabulous, BTW) with no problems.

What we discovered was that all four of us would have handled the situation in four different ways.  One of my friends would have asked for a new plate and would have been okay with that.  Another said she wouldn’t have cared if she had to floss with it!  One would have alerted the waiter because we are in a nice restaurant, the rest of us wouldn’t have.

I fell somewhere in the middle.  A stray hair doesn’t bother me so much, (as long as it’s from your head!) I mean, it happens – hairs are falling out of your head right now!  If I had seen it on my short rib, I would have flicked it off and continued eating.  Do I want to pull it out of my mouth?  No.  Do I want to swallow it?  No.  Have I eaten hairs I don’t know about?  Probably many more than I care to think about.  I wouldn’t really say anything to the waitstaff, either.  I never really say anything unless something is really really wrong.  A hair on my short rib?  Phsaw.

Anyway, the whole episode reminded me of the Seinfeld when Elaine gets a Cinnamon Babka for a dinner party and discovers a hair and gets a new one by yelling, “You sold me a cake with a hair around it!”  It kind of became our mantra for the rest of the weekend.

What would you do?

Seinfeld: Pez!

 

Oh, god – I love when Jerry puts the Pez dispenser on Elaine’s leg.  I crack up every time.  I used to collect Pez dispensers back in the day, and I even have this same one.

I used to base my opinion of people at work on whether or not they accepted a Pez from my dispenser.  If they turned down the Pez, then I knew that they couldn’t be trusted.  You should always accept a Pez when it is offered to you.

I wonder if Hillary would accept a Pez from Obama?

Seinfeld…. DOUBLE DIPPER!

 

Since many of us will be going to Easter get-togethers with family & friends over the weekend, I thought I’d give you some etiquette tips via Seinfeld. Behold the Double Dipper!  

You know you’ve done it!