Okay, I know… but, lord help me, I am hooked on Bravo’s Real Housewives series, and the New York is my favorite.  Recently the “ladies” (I use that term loosely) took a vacation down to St. John (notice there is no “s” – dumbasses can’t even get the name of the island right.)  to celebrate Crazy Eyes Ramona’s vow renewal and hilarity and drama ensued.

We were actually on-island last November when they were filming, although we never saw them in town.  Much more attention was being paid to the Hooters Girls, who were also on-island shooting a calendar.  I did manage to run into them one day at the Westin Resort, as we had taken our group over there for a day on the beach with a bartender.  Problem was, beach and bar were closed for the calendar shoot.  So, tecnically, the fucking Hooters Girls got between me and my rum & diets – not a good thing. It is a good thing that there are 10,000,000 bars on STJ, so my problem was resolved rather quickly.

Anyway, I thought it was so funny watching the completed RHONY shows while knowing where they were.  The villa where they stayed  is Presidio Del Mar, one of the biggest eyesores on the island (which, also just happens to be for sale right now for the low, low price of $32 million.)  Also, they had their food catered by well-known on-island chef Mathayom Vacharat, and word is that everything was a disaster basically because the ladies were overly demanding and as far as fabulous food goes on St. John, there are slim pickins.  (Don’t believe for a minute that Bethenny cooked those meals herself.)

Why do I watch this crap?  I don’t know, honestly – I don’t.  Andy Cohen has some sort of window into my soul where he programs shows that I want – no, need – to watch.  (Either that, or I was a 29 year old gay guy from the East Coast in another life – not that there’s anything wrong with that….)

Oh, and if you are into RHONY and can admit it, you’ll love this blog of a snarky gay guy who makes incredible characatures of all the housewives.  (He also made the video above.)

From Adam to Zane

Meet the hosts of my new favorite two shows: Man vs. Food and Three Sheets. Adam Richman (left, above) hosts Man vs. Food on the Travel Channel where in each episode he travels to a different city, stops by a couple of local joints to eat some junk food, then finishes each episode with a cringe-inducing food challenge, such as eating a 8 lb. giant hamburger or eating 20 super hot wings in 20 minutes.  Most of the time he wins the challenge, and it makes me almost throw up watching him.  Yet, I cannot look away.  (Fellow Travel Channel host/chef Anthony Bourdain was recently quoted as asking someone at the network, “”Did this guy sign a 30-page liability waiver? You’re going to kill this guy!”)  I’ve also noticed that he seems to have gained a considerable amount of weight between seasons this year, although he claims to work out twice a day while on the road and wear the same size pants as when he auditioned. Not sure I’m buying that. Coming in 2011:  Man vs. Echocardiogram.

Zane Lamprey hosts the fun and informative Three Sheets on the FLN Network (I know: the what network?  Never heard of it before this show…) where in each episode he travels to a different country, stops by a couple of joints to drink different alcoholic drinks that the region is known for, then ends each episode showing us all the fun he had while getting drunk during each trip, like drinking marijuana in Jamacia and lots of champagne in France. The difference is the Three Sheets show actually teaches you something about the region and/or the drink being consumed, so at the end of the episode you feel like your learning something instead of like on Man vs. Food where you feel dirty for watching a man stuff 10 lbs of food down his gullet. I’m sure you can figure out which one of these jobs I would like to have.

Frankly, I think they should just combine these two shows into an hour-long glut-fest of drinking and eating.  Kind of like Thanksgiving every episode!  Zane could drink until he passes out, and Adam could give us lessons on how they put together the 6 lb burrito he just ate.  Although Zane is cuter, Adam is funnier, so together they could be the perfect host.

And put it on a network I’ve heard of…  are you listening Bravo?

Seinfeld: Bubble Boy (Not Balloon Boy)

For some reason, whenever I have been talking about the Balloon Boy or his idiotic father, I keep saying ‘Bubble Boy”.  It must be a side effect of watching too much Seinfeld. So, I figured maybe it was a good time to post this little clip for the real Bubble Boy.


PS: Speaking of Balloon Boy, chalk it up to my old home state to be home to yet another nutball.  And, they live in Ft. Collins no less – home to my hapless Rams.  (And, a hapless Sheriff’s Dept, apparently.)

Mad Men & Mad Fonts


As any fan of Mad Men knows, the baby-daddy of the show, Matthew Weiner, is obsessed with getting every detail of Mad Men historically correct no matter how small… (The current season is set in 1963.) But, in this day and age it turns out there are people out there that are more obsessed than he – especially in the font department.  (New word of the day for me: historicism)

Turns out Weiner (or someone involved with the show) even stepped into the same shitstorm as IKEA did a few weeks ago, as they dared to use crappy Microsoft wanna-be Arial as his closing credit font (gasp!) instead of the classic and more age-appropriate Helvetica.  I think I’ve finally got it: when in doubt, never fuck with Helvetica or Futura!

The font in this ad for Season 3 seems to be, thankfully, age-appropriate and all’s right with the world again.  (Also, I really just wanted to post this shot of the gorgeous Don Draper aka Jon Hamm.)

If you’re interested in all the minutia, here’s a great article by Font God Mark Simonson from last year.

Sprint: What’s Happening Now – Best New Ad


I’ve always loved advertising.  In fact, at one point in my life I dreamed I would have a career editing national television commercials – one of the reasons I moved to Chicago.  Alas, now I live in the ‘burbs and have 22-year-olds critiquing my work for their uncle’s business while my cat refuses to get off my lap. Sad, but true.

This ad really caught my attention lately – it’s a great ad.  “Koo-doz” (Thanks, Ramona) to the team at San Francisco’s Goodby Silverstein & Partners who created it.  It’s engaging, entertaining, and to the point.  (Makes me want a Sprint phone, and that’s saying a lot as I am quite firm in my Apple love.)  I wish the statistics were real, but the idea is so good – I can let it pass.

Here are the stats in case you were wondering:

Welcome to the Now Network. Population: 49 million.

  • 23 million cell phone calls are being made
  • 380,000 people just hung up.
  • 1 million emails are en route.
  • 7% of them contain the words, miracle banana diet
  • They’re hitting 6,3000 spam filters, now.
  • Twice as many people are searching Dog on Google versus Cat
  • Tiny the talking boxer is being uploaded from Youtube to some one’s cell phone, now.
  • 2 million people are sending a text message during a business meeting- the most popular subject? Diapers.
  • 233,000 people just Twittered on Twitter.
  • 26% of you viewing this have no idea what that means.
  • 6,000 people are researching restaurants in a cab.
  • 29 of them just left their phone in that same cab.
  • 13,000 people just landed and are switching on their phones.

One person just pushed her cat off her lap and went to get a cup of coffee.

Leaving AbFab Alone


I have to say that I was less than sad to find that Fox had passed on a new, US version of the 90’s British comedy, Absolutely Fabulous.  AbFab is one of my all-time favorite shows, and frankly, should just be left alone.  Why oh why do they have to fuck with perfection?  

This new version was to star Kristin Johnson from 3rd Rock from the Sun fame as Patsty and Katherine Hahn (who?) as Edina.   And, I’m sure it sucked.  Americans can’t do a proper show about two drugged-out alcoholic aging hippies – unless it was done in cartoon form by Seth McFarlane.

I decided many years ago that I want to be Patsy, and am well on my way.  Below:  One of my favorite scenes when Patsy and Eddie go to France for a few days and end up at a château wine tasting.  I have been to wine tastings in Napa with friends that have ended up a little like this.  Klassy!

Slap Chop Area 38


Okay, I admit I am scarily obsessed with Vince from Sham-WOW and Slap Chop fame.  Even after his little brush with the law regarding “kissing a hooker.”  (Dude – everyone knows you never kiss the hooker!)

Anyway – some brilliant guy made this little ditty with the Slap Chop video and created a great rap o rama.


(you’re gonna love my nuts!)