RHONY on STJ

Okay, I know… but, lord help me, I am hooked on Bravo’s Real Housewives series, and the New York is my favorite.  Recently the “ladies” (I use that term loosely) took a vacation down to St. John (notice there is no “s” – dumbasses can’t even get the name of the island right.)  to celebrate Crazy Eyes Ramona’s vow renewal and hilarity and drama ensued.

We were actually on-island last November when they were filming, although we never saw them in town.  Much more attention was being paid to the Hooters Girls, who were also on-island shooting a calendar.  I did manage to run into them one day at the Westin Resort, as we had taken our group over there for a day on the beach with a bartender.  Problem was, beach and bar were closed for the calendar shoot.  So, tecnically, the fucking Hooters Girls got between me and my rum & diets – not a good thing. It is a good thing that there are 10,000,000 bars on STJ, so my problem was resolved rather quickly.

Anyway, I thought it was so funny watching the completed RHONY shows while knowing where they were.  The villa where they stayed  is Presidio Del Mar, one of the biggest eyesores on the island (which, also just happens to be for sale right now for the low, low price of $32 million.)  Also, they had their food catered by well-known on-island chef Mathayom Vacharat, and word is that everything was a disaster basically because the ladies were overly demanding and as far as fabulous food goes on St. John, there are slim pickins.  (Don’t believe for a minute that Bethenny cooked those meals herself.)

Why do I watch this crap?  I don’t know, honestly – I don’t.  Andy Cohen has some sort of window into my soul where he programs shows that I want – no, need – to watch.  (Either that, or I was a 29 year old gay guy from the East Coast in another life – not that there’s anything wrong with that….)

Oh, and if you are into RHONY and can admit it, you’ll love this blog of a snarky gay guy who makes incredible characatures of all the housewives.  (He also made the video above.)

The Art & Science of Title Sequences

I am a year behind on watching Dexter (SO FOR GOD’S SAKE DON’T TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS AT THE END OF SEASON 4!) and have been watching Season 3 on DVD from Netflix for the past few weeks.  I have always been interested in title sequences, so I was trying to figure out who did the freaky title sequence for Dexter and found this neat little site that has little tidbits about a bunch of them.  Fun thing to check out if you want to waste some time.

Especially cool are ones I kind of forgot about: Edward Scissorhands, Carnivàle, To Kill a Mockingbird, Resevoir Dogs and Thank you for Smoking.

Visit theartofthetitle.com.

PS – Is it me, or does Dexter look like Brett Favre?

From Adam to Zane

Meet the hosts of my new favorite two shows: Man vs. Food and Three Sheets. Adam Richman (left, above) hosts Man vs. Food on the Travel Channel where in each episode he travels to a different city, stops by a couple of local joints to eat some junk food, then finishes each episode with a cringe-inducing food challenge, such as eating a 8 lb. giant hamburger or eating 20 super hot wings in 20 minutes.  Most of the time he wins the challenge, and it makes me almost throw up watching him.  Yet, I cannot look away.  (Fellow Travel Channel host/chef Anthony Bourdain was recently quoted as asking someone at the network, “”Did this guy sign a 30-page liability waiver? You’re going to kill this guy!”)  I’ve also noticed that he seems to have gained a considerable amount of weight between seasons this year, although he claims to work out twice a day while on the road and wear the same size pants as when he auditioned. Not sure I’m buying that. Coming in 2011:  Man vs. Echocardiogram.

Zane Lamprey hosts the fun and informative Three Sheets on the FLN Network (I know: the what network?  Never heard of it before this show…) where in each episode he travels to a different country, stops by a couple of joints to drink different alcoholic drinks that the region is known for, then ends each episode showing us all the fun he had while getting drunk during each trip, like drinking marijuana in Jamacia and lots of champagne in France. The difference is the Three Sheets show actually teaches you something about the region and/or the drink being consumed, so at the end of the episode you feel like your learning something instead of like on Man vs. Food where you feel dirty for watching a man stuff 10 lbs of food down his gullet. I’m sure you can figure out which one of these jobs I would like to have.

Frankly, I think they should just combine these two shows into an hour-long glut-fest of drinking and eating.  Kind of like Thanksgiving every episode!  Zane could drink until he passes out, and Adam could give us lessons on how they put together the 6 lb burrito he just ate.  Although Zane is cuter, Adam is funnier, so together they could be the perfect host.

And put it on a network I’ve heard of…  are you listening Bravo?

Inside the Mind of a Woman

Okay, I know this went around a few months ago, but I ran across it again and felt the need to post.  If you haven’t seen it, the gist is this:  A guy goes on vacation to Europe for two weeks, and his girlfriend either forgot, or didn’t understand he was leaving.  The story is told through the emails he received while he was away.

Yes, this is what goes through our minds as women, I am sorry to say.  Oh, and the video is 8 minutes long, but worth it. Welcome to our world.

Enjoy!

Worst Commercial Photoshop Ever

pv

I’m definitely not a Photoshop expert, but even if I tried I could not pull off this disaster – found on the package for the Wii game Pet Vet. I am shocked that this would even make it out of a DeVry Photoshop I class –  let alone on to a real actual product.

I don’t know what’s worse: the freakishly giant rabbit?  The phony orange cat who’s not even in the same state? The fake hair on the Miley Cyrus look-alike?  (or, my favorite line from the Photoshop Disaster site this came from, “the horse with Hitler’s haircut?”)

I’ve seen a lot of bad Photoshop from people who don’t know what they’re doing and I’ve seen some really bad Photoshop from people who think they know what they’re doing – but I’ve never seen this bad of Photoshop from someone who is supposed to know what they’re doing!

Two words:  This sucks.

Photoshop Disasters

Need to Kill a Couple of Hours?

lb2

Like I don’t have enough ways to waste time on the interwebs – along comes lamebook.com.  Lamebook is your one-stop shopping experience for all lame Facebook posts.  I must be a voyeur deep down, because I could spend hours reading other people’s ridiculous posts – and if you add up the time I spent doing that during this week – I probably did.

A few observations:

  • Spelling in this new world is beginning to alarm me.
  • People really will post anything, no matter how mundane or personal.
  • I weep for our future.

Lamebook : From Lame to Fame.

Thanks, k.e.t!