Gelatin is Back, Baby!

You know how one generation finds things that they think are “new” and it’s really just a retread from two generations back?  Kind of like how the 20-somethings these days are drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and Manhattans like my grandfather did?  Well, the same goes for food, I guess, and it seems that that scary obsession of mine is making a comeback: Scary Gelatin Recipes

I was looking through the latest issue of Saveur magazine and there, on page 36 was the first photo of a vegetable-suspended-in-gelatin-loaf recipe that has been published in the last 40 years.  Accompanying such photo was a glowing and rather romantic essay touting the beauty of this disgusting product.

I try and think of myself as a foodie, but I’m sorry –  I can’t eat this crap – I don’t care if Grant Achatz himself made it.  Jello is a nothing short of gross and is good for nothing other than delivering Everclear into your body via a paper cup.  The End.

See Saveur article here, along with recipe for above “Perfection Salad.”

Perhaps an Easter Surprise?

I know it’s been awhile since I blogged.  Between working on a big, overdue project, regular work, family parties and travel – I have been too busy to blog.  But, I didn’t want to leave you high and dry for Easter this weekend, so here is something the whole family will enjoy – the Monterey Soufflé Molded Tuna Salad!  It has that Easter-y look, doesn’t it?  And, that Barf-in-the-Freezer look as well!

I gave up all deep-fried foods for lent (No, I’m not Catholic, but why can’t I do it anyway?) which according to all the shit I got from friends, was the most ridiculous thing ever.  Every time I said, “Oh, I can’t have that” I got a lot of crap about how what’s the difference between fried and deep fried – why can I have diner hash browns, but not McDonald’s hash browns – what if it was deep fried tofu or broccoli, etc. etc.  It didn’t help that I have given up french fries for the entire year, which just added another layer to the conversation. Did I mention that some of my friends are assholes?

Enjoy the holiday weekend!

Not Catholic? Here’s How to have a Meatless Friday Anyway

No, I’m not Catholic, but this is a good way to observe Meatless Fridays for lent this year.  Choosing between canned Ox Tounge and a block of tofu?  I’d gladly choose the tofu.

Please give your attention to the odd product on the bottom right: Derby Tid-Bits.  If you read carefully, you will notice that the Tid-Bit, which is described artfully as “a pink and white morsel of savory goodness,” is actually bits of pig’s feet.  And, “Every bit is deliciously edible!”

Um, dinner tonight in the Nacho Underpants household?  Stir Fried Tofu with Black Bean Sauce.

Corned Beef Stuffed Tomato

Okay, normally I like to post vintage recipes that are revolting, but I have to admit that I have a soft spot for corned beef hash out of the can.  In fact, I am actually disappointed if I order corned beef hash at a diner and it’s homemade.  There’s something about all that salty, heart-stopping goodness that comes right out of the can looking like dog food.  (One can is 100% of your daily sodium intake!)

I bet this Corned Beef Stuffed Tomato would be perfect for Valentine’s Day!  Give it a try and let me know what your sweetie thinks.

World’s Best Meatloaf, 1955

mwml

Who knew that Miracle Whip makes the “World’s Best Meatloaf?”  Frankly, I think the only miracle about Miracle Whip is that people actually think it tastes better than  mayonnaise.  I think it has something to do with what you had as a child – most people I know that love the Whip are those whose Mom made tuna salad (or some equally mayonnaise-y thing) with it.  (Or, someone who had more than six siblings…)  To me, it tastes like mixing sour cream and sugar together and I really hate it.  But, to each his own – I like to eat dry Lipton’s Noodle Soup Mix right out of the envelope, so what do I know?

Anyway, if you like the MW, then have at this 1955 meatloaf recipe which proclaims to be the “World’s Best!”  I have to say, I am loving the crinkle-cut beets – I might have to try that sometime.  And, who doesn’t love a ring of meat filled with mashed potatoes?  That just seems un-American.

Behold the Beautiful “Meat Star Platter!”

meatstar

I’m not exactly sure what year this ad ran, but it fits right in with my unheralded obsession with all Disgusting Food Images from the Past.  I especially enjoy the crazy flaming sterno in the middle of the star!  According to the copy, your guests are supposed to roast the little Vienna Sausages over the sterno!  Mmmm.. I can’t imagine how yummy that must taste.  Vienna Sausages + Sterno = Instant Glamour.

The other two cat food appetizers are Deviled Ham and Potted Food Meat Product spread on crackers.  Now, I’m no marketing genius, but couldn’t they have come up with a better name than “Potted Food Meat Product?”   You don’t see them calling Spam “Chopped-Pork-Shoulder-Meat-with-Ham-Meat-Added Product” now do you?

I’m sure they could sell more of it if they called it PoFo or something.  It’s still called that today, believe it or not.  And, even more disturbing is that there are not one, not two, but three different brands of Potted Food Meat Product.  Armour brand claims to be #1 in the Potted Food Meat Product category.  Why would you brag about this?  And, more importantly, who the hell is buying this stuff? Vienna Sausages, Deviled Ham – it’s all equally disgusting.

(I had a friend in college who loooooved Vienna Sausages and used to eat them can after can.  The only thing I could ever figure out is that he was stoned about 95% of the time, so maybe that had something to do with it.  To me, they look like little poached fingers in a can, so high or not, I can’t bring myself to try them.)

Oh, by the way, here is the ingredient list to Potted Food Meat Product:  Beef tripe, mechanically separated chicken, beef hearts, partially defatted cooked beef fatty tissue, meat broth, vinegar, salt, flavoring, sugar, and sodium nitrite.