It has come to my attention that Boone’s Farm Country Kwencher is no longer produced. In fact, I couldn’t even find a picture of the bottle to accompany my eulogy. I say this is sacrilege! Yes, yes – they have about 25 other lame flavors, but everyone knows Country Kwencher was the best one! Do you know how many bottles of Country Kwencher I downed in college? I mean, it was fairly sophisticated for my college repertoire – after all it was “wine.”
I remember sitting around someone’s first apartment, opening each bottle with a special ritual we only used for Boone’s Farm products. We would twist the cap slowly and count out loud as a group how many twists until it came off. If it was 7 or more, you had a “good” bottle – anything less and it was a “bad” bottle. A bad bottle was a relative term, since really all of them were bad. We were just looking for an excuse to “celebrate” a little more if it was a “good” bottle.
Anyway, I was sad to learn that the Country Kwencher is no more. You can have all your Mellon Balls, Strawberry Hills and Mountain Berries – but you will never be as good as the Kwencher.
RIP Country Kwencher. We hardly knew ye.